“In the sunset of dissolution, everything is illuminated by the aura of nostalgia.” ~Milan Kudera The Unbearable Lightness of Being (Czech book)
It’s my last day in Vietnam. I feel sad.
There were days I hated this place. I’ve never felt more alone in my life than I did here. But at the same time, I love it. I feel like I grew a lot in Vietnam, and the adventures I had—both living and traveling here—were some of the coolest experiences of my life. The bad days were tough, but the good days were amazing.
I normally blog more when I’m traveling around, or when some big event happens. But there were lots of daily, routine things that made living in Vietnam special. These are the things that you can’t capture with a vacation. They are the day to day highlights that make immersion fun. It’s hard to explain them to someone who didn’t live it, but I’ll do my best.
As I think back on my time in Saigon, these are the things I think you have to experience to really appreciate the magic of this place.
1. Play with your food…I love Vietnamese food! Pho is awesome, but it is just a drop in the bucket of amazing Vietnamese dishes. I’ll miss tearing up the leaves to put in my soups. I’ll miss the salty sauces, the sweet smoothies, the mystery meats that were surprisingly good. Vietnamese food ranks among some of my favorite in the world. I never got food poisoning, and there were very few dishes I didn’t like. It was all so fresh and unique.
2. Get soaked in a monsoon on a Grabbike… the weather has to be the single most frustrating part of living here. The days it doesn’t rain, it’s sweltering heat. Then when it rains, it pours. It’s a soaking waterfall like rain that lasts about an hour. And when you’re on the back of a grabbike, you have no choice but to sit there and shiver. But it also fits Saigon. It’s one of the many uncomfortable inconveniences that people here take with a smile. I aspire to be so go-with-the-flow one day.
3. Become a regular at a whiskey bar… the whiskey bar happened to be around the corner from our first BNB back in March. At the time I arrived, my irritable stomach tolerated whiskey better than beer and wine when I was taking the stomach meds, so we became regulars. It’s nice having a bar where everybody knows your name. It’s also nice to get together with other expats and realize we all have the same fears and frustrations traveling around.
4. Spend hours googling “what bit me” to identify bug bites…Having ants on my body became a daily occurrence by about mid April. Since then, we’ve seen everything from bed bugs to fleas to spiders to ants to mosquitoes to strange beetles to intestinal worms. I’ve had it all. The paranoia of “is this the bug bite that gives me dengue?” gets old fast. But despite the creepy crawly feeling of seeing insects on you everyday, people are relatively healthy.
5. Have a “same same” bahn mi order… I was hesitant about bahn mi when I arrived. The whole street food pate kind of freaked me out. But when I found Juicy, a little bahn mi and smoothie shop by our flat, I was hooked. I came here at least 5 mornings a week. When I walk in, the lady who owns it just says “same same?” I reply “same same” and she makes me my usual egg bahn mi with a mango and passion fruit smoothie. I’ve sat here blogging, FaceTiming, Netflixing, and reading. It was a comfy little corner in the chaos of Saigon.
6. Waste hours in coffee shops… I had no idea Vietnam had such a coffee culture. While I am still not a huge coffee drinker, I love the atmosphere of Vietnamese coffee shops. Not only do they provide an air conditioned escape from the heat (or a dry escape from the rain) but it’s nice to be able to get out of the flat and go somewhere when you have nothing to do. The smells are rich, the ambiance is always tranquil, and some of the drinks (like matcha shakes, boba tea, or fresh fruit smoothies) are incredible, creative, and refreshing.
7. Trip over the pavement…sidewalks just don’t exist in Saigon. If you find one, it’s either crumbling, covered in trash, or being used as motorbike parking (or an extra lane of traffic.) It was hazardous to walk anywhere.
8. Swim just because you can… When I arrived in Vietnam, I’d never seen the Pacific Ocean (except from a plane.) I’ve now swam in the Pacific more than the Atlantic. I also joined a pool and swam laps every week. I took advantage of hotel pools. I’ve probably been in the water at least a day a week. It was a highlight of living in perpetual summer on the equator and I will miss it.
9. Sleep on the couch… the street noise in Saigon is like no other. It never stops. Even in the most outskirt and suburban areas of the town, truck traffic blares all night long. It was particularly bad outside my bedroom, so I actually slept on the couch in the living room for 4 of the 6 months we lived in that apartment. It’s a good thing massages were so cheap.
10. Walk a few blocks to catch a grab… riding motorbike taxis was the most fun part of living in Saigon. It was also the most maddening. The bike drivers had various qualifications and virtually no concern for safety. Sometimes they accepted your ride and then stopped for a smoke break before coming to get you. Sometimes they ran out of gas and left you on a curb to go refuel. Sometimes they didn’t have a gps to navigate. It could be a smooth process or an hour long ordeal to get anywhere. But that is part of Vietnam. You never know what you are going to get.
11. Don’t talk about the corruption… when protests happen (and they do) no one talks about it. When there is a curfew in place or parts of the town barricaded off, it doesn’t make the news. If you didn’t see it, you wouldn’t know. When leading political officials disappear, no one brings it up. Things just happen in Vietnam, and life goes on.
12. Feel guilty for your boarish behavior in a laundromat… the chaos of Vietnam brought out an ugly side of me. The pinnacle of my descent into madness was in a laundromat in Hanoi. While haggling over the price to do my laundry, I finally shouted “I don’t have time for you #+?%ing Vietnamese logic this early in the morning.” I grabbed my laundry and left. I feel bad about it, and I hate being that ugly American, but part of traveling is confronting various frustrations and learning to be patient. I’m not always successful, but I appreciate the ways travel has made me more flexible and open minded in frustrating situations.
13. Leave at the same time but arrive 20 minutes apart… as another fun Grab oddity, Matt and I often left at the same time to go to the same place and arrived at totally different times. Other times, one of us would leave after the other but arrive first. Planning anything was impossible. You had to appreciate life in the moment everyday, because if you took your plans too seriously, you’d go crazy.
14. Forget about the war… perhaps the thing I am most proud of from my time in Vietnam is essentially getting passed the Vietnam war. When I first got here, that was the only association, and really the only interest, I had with Vietnam. But 8 months later, the war is such a small piece of what Vietnam is to me. I could tell a dozen other stories before I would even touch on the war. As an American, it’s cool to see that history moves on, wounds heal, and Vietnam is more than one conflict.
15. Live with your best friend...In reality, friends don’t always make the best room mates and room mates don’t always make the best friends. I know we drove each other crazy on a pretty regular basis, but I truly don’t know that I would have stayed in Vietnam as long as I did if it hadn’t been for Matt. Matt listened to a lot of rants and put up with a lot of my frustrations about Saigon. I don’t think he was as bothered by it as I was, but he was always there and very supportive. I know I grew more because of him and his perspective and I am grateful for that!
16. Finally get it… it is frustrating, it is a chaotic, it’s lonely and maddening. But the funny thing is, I get it. It’s a different pace of life—and I don’t think I could do it long term—but it’s awesome. People who live in Saigon live for the joy of being alive. It’s about taking the moment, realizing that in the moment, 95 things might suck and make no sense, but you hop on your motorbike and go for it anyway. Because that’s what life is about!
For the last 2 hours, I’ve been trapped in a coffee shop by the monsoonal rain. And you know, I’m not even mad. Life works out here in Vietnam.
It’s been an unforgettable 8 months. I truly feel sad to leave and wish I had more time. But there is more world to see, and more adventures to have. I’ll come back to Southeast Asia someday. And I’ll definitely come back to Vietnam.